Friday 22 November 2019

Political Broadcast -- The Brexit Election

I interrupt my delightful series of posts on my sabbatical in Italy, to write a little about the upcoming UK election, on December 12th.

From my vantage point within the operatic chaos of Rome, it is perfectly obvious what is the Number One issue of this election, in fact really the only relevant issue, and equally obvious how any sensible person should vote. But word trickles through to me that it is not obvious to everyone. There are, media pundits tell me, large quantities of people confused about who to vote for. They are despairing at their options! They are throwing up their hands! They are going to -- horror of horrors! -- sit this one out!

As a pompous conceited theoretical physicist, even I cannot believe that so many people are so blisteringly stupid. That means it's hats off to the booming misinformation and obfuscation industry. Nice try, guys, but your dastardly campaign to wipe out human civilisation is at an end. I can take you down in 1200 words. Maybe less. (I did mention conceited, didn't I?)


The big issue is, surprise surprise, Brexit -- that pesky spanner thrown into the machinery of British politics. Ever since it went in, the whole system has made that sickening screeching noise of rending metal. Cogs are flying off everywhere. Hopes that it would work its way through have collapsed, and at the same time no-one knows how to get it out. Brexit prompted an out-of-cycle election in 2017, and it prompted this one now. And why not? Brexit was originally billed as the catalyst for an economic crisis, but it has been much worse: now it feels like an existential threat to the nation itself.

But guess what? We, the people, have been given a chance to fix it! Is this the rousing inspirational tear-jerker ending to a Hollywood movie, when the entire population swings in to save the day? Or the final sneering mockery of the notion of democracy? Let's see.

As every UK voter is painfully aware, it is not going to be easy. There are two main political parties. The Conservatives, who used to be run by a literal pig fucker, have since turned rotten. Then Boris Johnson took over. It should be easy to vote against them. Unfortunately, the opposition party is run by a man who is, quite miraculously, less popular than BoJo. There is a third party that promises to cancel Brexit, but in a traditionally two-party system it is fanciful to think that they could win outright.

Fear not, there is a semblance of a solution. It is called tactical voting. If Remainers band together to support just one Labour, Liberal Democrat, Scottish National, Green or Plaid Cymru candidate in their electorate, there is hope of defeating the Conservatives. The result would be a motley coalition hodge-podge, certainly hideous to behold, but it would be our best hope of turning course away from Brexit.

Several myths and misconceptions stand in the way of this outcome. I will now dispense with them.

The biggest problem is that some people are actually sold on Brexit. If any of you made it here, let's try to remain civil, and press on. What is wrong with Brexit? I mean, apart from giving up the strength of being part of a major trading block, and losing automatic free trade with 27 of our closest neighbours? And apart from the major cost involved in extricating ourselves? And apart from the fact that no-one has presented a coherent plan, even three and a half years after the referendum, for what precisely we want at the end of the procedure, or how to get there?

Apart from that... I believe the strongest point is one I first saw made by the economist Paul Krugman, just before the referendum. In a column on June 17th, 2016, a week before the vote, he predicted that Brexit would leave the UK 2% poorer than if it remained in the EU, "essentially forever", but was nonetheless lukewarm in his support for Remain. He is no EU fanboy. Then came a key point: "The EU’s failures have produced a frightening rise in reactionary, racist nationalism — but Brexit would, all too probably, empower those forces even more, both in Britain and all across the Continent."

And so it has come to pass.

Most experienced members of parliament were against Brexit -- because they understood its likely costs -- so after the referendum they were excluded to the margins. Into the vacuum flew the once-marginal politicians who did support Brexit, in other words, the most extremist, inexperienced, incompetent, dimwitted clowns. These are the people who assumed the most important roles in government. As frustrating and shifty as politicians often seem, the mainstream was now populated almost entirely by a whole new subclass of grifter goons. Theresa May, arguably quite competent, experienced and responsible, was eventually pushed out as well, so that this steaming shit-heap could be presided over by the leader it deserved.

If you really do believe that the UK would be better off outside the European Union, then you should campaign to abort this botched operation -- you should vote against your preferred path being defiled and hijacked by the worst charlatans in British politics -- and support those who can come back in ten years' time with a real plan.

Ok, so now we are all against Brexit.

Now to the opposition, and the wretched Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the Labour party. This is where many people play the balance game. Boris Johnson is crap. Jeremy Corbyn is crap. So they must be equally crap.

No!

I have no partisan view of Corbyn. I cannot follow the tribal struggles within and between these political parties, and I was barely aware of his existence before the referendum. But I have seen how he behaved afterwards, and there is nothing positive to say. He failed to mount a serious opposition to Brexit. It is irrelevant that many Labour voters supported it. That means it was time to lead -- to lead them out of their error. Was he being strategic? If he was, then emerging with historically low popularity levels is quite the genius power play.

That said, let's get some perspective. Crap politicians are standard fare. Boris Johnson is not a crap politician, he is an abomination. In a choice between the two, you have to pick Corbyn, every time. I am sorry that there is no choice that warms your heart and fires your ideals. That's life. Let's stop the handwringing and grow up. This is the choice we have. In the end, it is not a difficult one.

What about the Liberal Democrats? I have no clue what their policies are, except that they want to cancel Brexit. Given what I have said, that should be enough. And it would be, if they had a chance. Yes, in our Hollywood film, of course they would surge to surprise victory. But we do not live in a movie theatre. If you are in a constituency where the Labour candidate has a better chance than the Lib Dem one, then for God's sake vote for them. If it is the other way around, then go for Lib Dem.

And if you dislike the Lib Dems? There are people who are still peeved that the Lib Dems formed a sell-out coalition with the Conservatives in 2010. "I just cannot bring myself to vote for them." Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me? These are desperate times, so please get over your prissy concerns. When your plane crashes in the Andes, I am afraid that you have to eat your dead friends. Be glad the election is not so distasteful. I hate McDonalds, but I am glad of their cheap cheeseburger when the pubs have closed. That's more the level of it. Just do what needs to be done. Remember those unforgivable morons who also "just couldn't bring myself" to vote for Hillary Clinton? Do not be one of them.

For this election, do not ask whether you are inspired by leaders or parties or policies. The opportunity to stop Brexit -- and if we fail, the last opportunity! -- should be inspiration enough.


To keep track of the tactical voting recommendations, go to:
https://www.remainunited.org

And you can do comparative shopping between tactical voting sites at:
https://tactical.vote/compare


See you on the other side!


Update December 13, 2019: Bugger.



Previous Brexit Rants:
February, 2019: Dispatch from Brexit Britain
June, 2016: In Praise of Immigrants

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